Bored in Your Relationship? Design Your Own Adventure

At the start of this past summer, Lindsey proposed that we should “reach out” to “newer and richer” experiences by making adventures out of our summer weekends. The adventures could be big or small and the only criteria was that the activity had to include an element of outdoor travel (near or far), newness, exploration and play.

The idea behind this was twofold: experience a new place together and connect around the shared experience. For example, we’ve gone to sand dunes, tried some new restaurants, went to swimming pools, embarked upon road trips, and had some creative double dates in a new gym.


  • Preparing for and going on an adventure creates anticipation and builds excitement. Even making the sandwiches the night before a road trip and picnic was exciting! Somehow, it was more exciting than preparing the same sandwich the night before work.
  • Adventures place us in different settings and as a result, expose aspects of ourselves that we don’t normally display, so we get to know each other better. We came across a public game of checkers on one of our adventures and sat down to play a couple rounds. Since we rarely play competitive games against each other, this was a fun and eye opening experience!
  • Adventures are fun and make space for play, which is a positive thing for a relationship. The sense of play that permeates our adventures makes space for genuine behaviours and stress relief.

Sample Adventure

A few weekends ago, our adventure was to explore Stratford, Ontario through a scavenger hunt! Take a look at our list:

  • Make some tea for the road
  • Take a silly picture together
  • Buy something we normally wouldn’t buy
  • Find something cool that we could put in our house (if we have one together one day)
  • Have a picnic in the park
  • Go for a walk to a cute place
  • Eat something delicious
  • Find some dairy free ice-cream
  • Find a rock for our rock collection
  • Go to the toy store on the main road
  • Dance on the sidewalk to someone’s music in their car
  • Text someone we haven’t talked to in awhile
  • Write each other a letter about what we think is awesome about the other person
  • Take some Relationship Zen photographs
  • Meditate by the river
  • Play a competitive game

What Else?

What we really enjoyed about this adventure was that we didn’t simply “go” somewhere. The hunt enabled us to be present in a different way — to engage with the environment and each other more actively. Even though we’ve been dating for almost four years now, we learned more about each other because the change in scenery and the nature of the team-based activity caused us to have new conversations.

We also had a lot of fun just hanging out… without tea this time!

If you’re looking to leverage some adventure to build your relationship, start small. Planning an expensive or long vacation may not be the best thing just yet and can actually be stressful. Try a series of smaller and affordable adventures to build up the level of connection needed to maximize a more long-term shared experience.However, if you feel you’re ready for a more pronounced and prolonged adventure then by all means, pack your bags and explore the world together. That’s on our bucket list!

What adventures have you been having this season?

Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.” – Suzanne Weyn


  • Manoj Kumar

    Hi I liked all your ideas of small adventure infact I loved them all. I have taken my girl for a surprise long drive a few times and she loved them all the time. In return she prepared a nice dinner while watching my favorite movie. I liked your article :)